The words in Rupi Kaur’s New York Times bestseller Milk and Honey struck my soul in more ways than one. A page that particularly opened my eyes to the internal struggles of the world quoted, “Fall in love with your solitude.” This led me to wonder: what is it that makes our generation so terrified of being alone?
I took it upon myself to challenge these fears and defeat the dependence we all drown in throughout our daily lives, and it made me realize that being comfortable on your own is practically a superpower. Requesting a table for one gives you the opportunity to occupy yourself with nothing but your own thoughts, feelings, and desires, and it’s absolutely liberating. It can teach us fortitude and the ability to satisfy our own needs, while also bringing forth the longing to explore and confidence to be an individual. So why is there such a negative stigma?
Total solitude is meant to be celebrated—all it takes is one killer experience and you’ll be hooked. So if spending a weekend solo is a prospect you do not find wildly appealing, I’m here to change your mind. Beginners, here’s what to do:
manage your time
As life pulls you in several different directions, always remember to never let a busy schedule force you to give up the things you love. Write your poetry. Read your books. Go on those nightly runs. Even when it feels like there’s not enough time in the day, it’s so important to make time for yourself.
find your safe place
In a culture that thrives on constant stimulation, the trick to enjoying the accompaniment of your own mind is to never be bored. Finding a place that satisfies all your needs is key. Intimidated? Take baby steps and try a matinee movie or mid-day shopping trip. An hour a day is sure to keep you feeling refreshed and ready for the big leagues in no time!
Because we live in an age where you’re reasonably presumed dead if you don’t answer your phone in a certain period of time, airplane mode is truly an electronic saving grace if you want total peace going off-grid. Instead of investing your “me time” in everyone else’s whereabouts on Snapchat, you owe it to yourself to pull the plug.
Now that you’ve ditched your cell, bring a pen. During the loner phase, you’re forced to speak less and listen more—whether that be to your personal thoughts or eavesdropping on the quirky couple behind you, write it down. Self-reflection is the first step to personal growth.
No matter what place you’re at in your journey, be easy, take your time, and remember, you can always come home…to yourself. It’s time to start living and spend time just doing you.
Do you crave alone time? If so, let us know how you’re spending it in the comments below!
Featured photo by Natalie Miller.