When I first started college, the thought of having to rebuild my social life scared me the most. I went into college with no friends and horrible social anxiety. However, I made a handful of friends who introduced me to everything college had to offer. One of those things was Tinder, essentially one of the most infamous dating apps among young adults. Once I made an account, I became obsessed and there was no turning back. Tinder became a game and I wanted to win.
As soon as I discovered the app, I found myself using it daily. At this point, I fell into a pit of self-manipulation and relied on generic compliments to make me feel valued. The number of matches I got, quality of my profile photos, everything, made me obsessive. At the same time, I always blamed myself and felt a sense of emptiness whenever I got ghosted. As a freshman with no self-confidence, I used Tinder to temporarily fill the void. Ultimately, I ended up on an emotional roller coaster of short-term happiness, uselessness, and self-hate.
Two years later, here is my advice to you: stop. First of all, stop searching for temporary satisfaction and seeking empty validation from strangers. Stop manipulating yourself to fit the standards of the digital world. The number of Tinder matches you have will not make your life any better or improve your social status. In fact, you are worth more than just a green heart or a right swipe. Ultimately, you are a human being worthy of love, friendship, and happiness. Here are some ways to stop seeking validation and start loving yourself.
1—Delete Tinder and any other apps that are draining your happiness.
2—Travel to collect memories, not materials.
3—Find a passion and run with it.
4—Wear something that makes you feel confident.
5—Surround yourself with positive and motivational friends and family.
Feel free to tell me all about your Tinder experiences in the comments below!